My friend Rev. Lee Wolak says that "love" is accepting the way a person is.  It's not liking them, it's accepting them.  "Liking" someone means that you are in vibrational harmony with them. 

And, of course, we aren't in vibrational harmony with everyone.

But could we be?  And, if we could be, would we want to be?

Thoughts for me to think:  

Do I want to be in vibrational harmony with everyone?  Or, would I like being comfortably myself with everyone on the planet?  

What would it look like if I was in vibrational harmony with everyone?  What would it feel like?

My experience:

I remember, before my awareness of Spirit and a desire to grow spiritually, that I got along with some people and I didn't get along with a whole lot more.  The ones I got along with I really liked and I remember enjoying my times with them immensely.  I laughed and laughed and laughed with them.  I miss that.

Once I began spiritually growing, I joined a group of people who would practice unconditionally loving and supporting each other just the way we are, in all our magnificence.  I would go to a one-hour meeting each week, and practice accepting and loving every single person who showed up.

I noticed that different people would show up each time, or a different configuration of people, BUT the practice I had to do loving and supporting each one seemed to always bring up the same challenges.  There was usually someone I liked a lot.  There was usually someone I thought was better than me.  And there was always someone who bored me into non-awareness.

The bores:  While I was practicing unconditionally loving them while they were droning away, I would think "This person is going on and on about the exact same thing week after week."  "This person is taking up more than their share of meeting time."  "This person is stuck."  "No one wants to be around this person because they don't say anything interesting.  Well, maybe the first time they said something, it was interesting, but this is the 37th time."

As I kept working at staying with them and really hearing all they had to say, I would want to yawn, my miind would wander, I would mentally check out of the meeting, I would practice what I planned on saying next. And I would breathe a sigh of relief when they finally shut up, and I could finally 'complete' their sharing by saying with the rest of the group, "I unconditionally love and support you, just the way you are, in all your magnificence."  I tried to be sincere in saying that.

As the bore of the week (different people took on this role for me) kept showing up, I kept practicing to love and accept them.  Deeper digging caused me to realize that I would hate myself if I was a bore, demanding all this unnecessary attention, being needy, self-absorbed and desperate.  Even deeper digging revealed to me that I needed this attention, that I wanted everyone to listen to me, no matter how I droned on, that I wanted to be heard, over and over.  That I, too, was a bore.

And I hated myself.

So, the next time the bore began their repetitions, I would focus within myself, feeling my self-loathing, and praying for forgiveness, praying to be loved, praying to be important to someone somewhere sometime.

All these feelings came up which, in this group, I would practice accepting and loving myself for having them.  Whenever the 'bore' showed up, I began doing the most soul-searching, deepest healing work I have ever known.  My time with the bore became filled with emotion, with my truth revealed, and eventually, with release, forgiveness, and true self-acceptance.  I didn't have to 'practice' so much anymore.  I was receiving so much good from this person's presence in my life, that I began to not be bored anymore.  

And, I could accept them for who they were -- 'LOVE' them.  And, I even kind of 'LIKED' them.

Toward the end of my work on this area, I noticed something weird start to happen.  The 'bore' stopped coming to the meetings.  And disappeared.

Years later, after I had been teaching spiritual tools in a classroom setting for quite a while, one of the students shared with me privately that one of the other students went on and on about themselves, saying the same old story every week, were not really making any progress, taking up too much classroom time and, let's face it, they were boring.

I remembered my spiritual work with the 'bore' years ago, and gently suggested that the student who was talking to me might want to check in to how they were feeling when the 'bore' shared and accept that there is something in how they were feeling that might be healed.

I don't think that student took my advice; they probably left the class because I was a bad teacher who let one student take over the class.  They were probably right.

But, I also realized something about me:  I never once had been bored by the 'bore'.  Whenever they (or anyone) shared, I became highly alert, alive and went into an intense listening mode.  I always heard something different.  The story might be exactly the same but the person's relationship to the story would have made a slight turn.  And, I would hear something intriguing and fascinating from within me, in what was not said.  Ultimately, I found I was so committed to hearing the sharer's unspoken potential, that it didn't matter what was said.

Today, I notice the circle of friends I have is much larger than before I began a spiritual journey.  I can listen to someone with completely different beliefs, opinions and interests and still be fascinated with their conversation.  I receive value from an interchange with everyone.  The only time I experience boredom is when I am just talking with myself.

As a teacher, I learned that I'll never notice if someone is dominating the class, so I put the 3-minute rule into effect -- each person's sharing can be no more than 3 minutes, once a class.  That seems to make those who would be bored satisfied.  But, they don't know what they are missing, and I sigh for them.